Channel 11 has a new ad campaign on the New York subways for their news teams, and I love them. I didn’t realize they had started going by PIX 11 instead of the old fashioned WPIX 11. So if nothing else the ads informed me of their new edginess.
What is so great about these ads is that each member of the news team has his or her own very distinct pose. It tells me so much about each person.
Lionel - My expression says quirky and humorous, but I’m up on current technology. Look at my iPad. No last name for me. If someone mentions that they saw Lionel on the street, there is only ONE answer.
Howard Thompson - I do not get along with Lionel. I am a serious newsman. But I’m approachable. Look at me. I’m wearing a sweater and a sports coat. No tie and jacket on this guy. I’m nice god damn it.
Larry Mendte - I’m the foundation of the staff. Sure I’ve been around a while, but I thrive because I work hard. And I never stop working. No time to socialize. I live and breathe the news. Every day I read every local paper from front to back. I don’t skip a single article! …What’s a blog?
Greg Mocker - Am I cool? I guess so. Some might say bad ass. Oh, are jeans too casual for a newsman? I guess I don’t care. What am I carrying? I prefer old technology. No iPad over here like that doofus Lionel. I’d rather lug around a TV set. Is that cool? I guess that’s your opinion. I don’t care if I’m cool. I care about results. But, let’s be serious. I’m cool.
Jim Watkins - Look at Greg and Larry. They don’t know what I have in store for them. I got plans. PIX11 is going to be Jim Watkins show. They just don’t know it yet. (I’m going to blackmail them)
Lolita Lopez - Hello there audience. My name is Lolita. You look real good today. Are you hungry? Hungry for the news? I bet I can satisfy your urges. No, I’m not seeing anyone. Did you just look at my knee? I don’t mind. Want to know more? Tune in to find out.
Lisa Mateo - I hope no one knows I am pregnant. Did I just touch my stomach? Did anyone notice? I bet that bitch Lolita noticed. She wants me out of the picture. I know she is just waiting for me to slip up. I hate Lolita.
Kaity Tong - Mr. G genuinely makes me laugh. I have fun! I’m not so serious. But I have an edge. Look at my jacket. But I’m smiling! Fun! But my hands are on my hips. Serious. But my haircut is short! Not too short! What do you want from me?
Mr. G - What have I done with my life?
Jodi Applegate - The producers asked me to wear heels and bend forward a bit. Am I selling out? I don’t think I am. If I do what they say, soon they’ll see I’m a great reporter. Yeah. I’m just using what tools I have. I can’t believe I went to college for this.
Jennifer Jordan - What the fuck is Rob looking at. I told him NO. EYE. CONTACT.
Rob Hoell - shit. I just looked at Jennifer.
Mary Murphy - I’ve had a headache for 27 years.
Ellyn Marks - I hope no one asks for my sources. I made all that stuff up. I am so far out of my depth here. No one is asking. No one ever asks. Thank God. I have been treading water here for a ages. I hope my next story is easy. The Debt Limit? That sounds hard.
Debra Alfarone -Peter… Peter, look at me. Or call me later. I’ll hold my phone until you call. You have my number right? I’ll text it to you. And email it to you. And leave you a message… Peter? Did you hear me? I didn’t hear your phone beep. It might be on silent. Peter. Turn on your phone. I’ll text you to remind you your phone is off. And email you. And leave you a message.
Marvin Scott - Am I the only god damn guy who still dresses like a real god damn newsman? Does anyone have any god damn self respect on this channel? I prefered this place when we just showed Honeymooners reruns instead of this Buggy the Vampire and Dawser’s Creek bull pucky. I should send my resume to ABC again.
Peter Thorne - 1. Eye Contact. 2. Be Serious. 3. Never let up. There’s a story out there. I know there is. Shit I blinked. Did I miss the story? I’ve got to stop blinking. 4. Never blink.
Monica Morales - Guys I’m trying to finish some work. Let me know before they take the picture.
PIX 11 - If you’re thinking it…. they’re saying it!
I keep posting pictures of Saturn. But can you blame me when they are as cool as this one?
That is a storm flowing around Saturn. If you measure it from north to south it is the size of Earth. And it’s much bigger from east to west. In fact, if you look at it closely you see that it wraps around the entire planet.