Parker gets restless in the morning, when Kevin and I have the nerve to sleep past 6, and likes to explore the bedroom. He’s particularly fond of chewing on a paper Whole Foods bag that we put in the bedroom for reasons that now escape me. (Laziness, maybe? Or to keep it away from Parker?)
This was a startling way to wake up. I was standing up in the dark without my glasses on while a cat ran around me in circles freaking out. It sounded like he was dragging everything in the apartment behind him. In the blurry darkness I imagined it was like a cartoon where Donald Duck gets his foot stuck in a bucket, and the bucket stuck in a coiled hose, and the hose stuck on a ladder. I guess he was only dragging a paper bag that was filled with other bags. But I couldn’t see as I made random grabs to catch Parker and help him. (while this is going on Cat is bleeding from her face). I finally grabbed the bag and it tore off of Parker, letting him relax (a bit) and run away and hide. Which gave us time to turn on the lights and get my glasses so I could see what just happened.
So Cat loves to sing Christmas Carols, but I hate how early Christmas decorations come out, and how early the music starts getting played. I am the Scrooge of this relationship.
But I don’t stop her from singing… I just make her sing Thanksgiving Carols of my own creation. All of which are Christmas Carols whose words have been hastily transformed, destroying rhyme schemes so as to remain mostly in rhythm.
Here’s an example:
Thanksgiving (sung to white christmas)
I’m dreaming of Thanks..giving. Just like the ones I used to know Where the turkeys glisten, and children gather At a card table in the back.
I’m dreaming of Thanks..giving. With every turkey leg I eat. May your meals be tasty and nice And may all your turkeys be moist
Its a lot of just inserting the word ‘turkey’.
Here’s one with less turkey:
Stuffing the Bread Based Sidedish (sung to Rudolph the red nosed reindeer) You know Potatoes, and String Beans, and Gravy, and Biscuits. Corn cobs and cranberries, and salads, and casseroles But do you recall the most famous side dish of all?
Stuffing the bread based side dish was made out of mostly crumbs but if you ever tried it you would probably say “yum”
All of the other side dishes Used to laugh and call it names. They never let poor Stuffing join in any sidedish games.
Then one wet Thanksgiving turkey came to say Stuffing climb inside my chest and soak up all my turkey juice
Then all the diners loved him as they shouted out with glee (sing as if your mouth is full) Stuffing the Bread Based Side Dish You’ll go down in history!!
So you get the idea. Truthfully these lyrics change every time we sing them. But that’s basically the idea. Here is one more that I love.
O Centerpiece (sung to O Christmas Tree) O Centerpiece! O Centerpiece! You really are quite lovely O Centerpiece! O Centerpiece! We need more room for food now. We’ll move you out into the hall in your place some yams will fall. O Centerpiece! O Centerpiece I guess we didn’t need you.
I think I pinched a nerve in my neck or back. It happened maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago. My back hurt one day. Then my shoulder. They my elbow. Then my wrist. Then my hand felt numb for a few days. This pain slowly traveled along my arm.
Then it was mostly better, occasionally something hurt on that arm, but not for long and not often.
A couple of days ago my elbow started hurting again and my hand started feeling numb again. Last night my tricep ached real bad. Today it’s not as bad. But its just as frequent.
I guess if its still this bad on Monday I need to go to some clinic to see if I can get some cheap-as-possible advice for my non-insured ass. (at the bottom of this post I’ll leave a place you can answer if you want to recommend a place to go).
So, today I am trying to move as little as possible. I used that time to catch up on FX’s Terriers. A fun detective show. Co-created by Shawn Ryan of the Shield. I like it more then Shield, I think because it feels like its trying to do less. It makes the show feel a little slight at times, but it always feels like it acheives it’s goal. A great character showcase with some decent to strong plots.
And while doing that Terriers also has employed a decent number of west coast UCB folk. Jamie Denbo is a series regular (though not as regular as I’d like) and the funny guys of Convoy have recurring roles as tech geniuses. And even lovable Will McLaughlin ran into one of the leads in a recent episode.
Anyway, I am going back to resting my back for a bit, but if anyone wants to chime in with suggestions of places to get my self checked out (keeping in mind I have no insurance) tell me here: advice?
I like using Sketchbook Pro on my iPad, and lately I’ve been using it to recreate things I have drawn in various notebooks and on scrap papers that are strewn across my desk.
These are rushed, amateur-ish and not that impressive. Also my colorblindness makes me afraid to work in anything but black and white (and occasionally some grays). If that sells you, follow the above link!
This Friday (at 10:30pm) I am in a show, entitled "KEVIN HINES AND THE SWEATSHIRT OF MYSTERIES!"
In it, I play Kevin Hines, who gets dumped, but then gets swept up in the slightly magical journey through Times Square, Subways, and Drag Bars. It’s a slice-of-life, epic-heroes-quest. Like the 12 Labors of Hercules, if they were actually just chores.
It’s really fun, and being put on by The Orphan Show. The brainchild of Alison Rich, Andrew Law, and Peter Sherer. They plan to do these periodically, building shows around different performers each time.
I’m flattered to be the first one.
So come to the show and watch me act, eat Lo Mein, and maybe even sing (a little). It’s only up the one time so don’t miss it!